just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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