just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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