i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize