so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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