So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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