margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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