she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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