so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
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Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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