i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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