Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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