I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize