Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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