I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize