what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize