Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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