I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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