Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually. http://tfl.nu/jboq

Replies (30) Good night (4104) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much. http://tfl.nu/qwgv

Replies (17) Good night (3747) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches. http://tfl.nu/8y2o

Replies (40) Good night (3030) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(857): View more from Massachusetts

So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

And why did you do that?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Tequila

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj

Replies (7) Good night (3665) Bad night (721)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll. http://tfl.nu/u5mu

Replies (34) Good night (5074) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. http://tfl.nu/az3h

Replies (31) Good night (695) Bad night (8476) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz

Replies (26) Good night (6552) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(254): View more from Texas

I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz

Replies (21) Good night (8201) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile. http://tfl.nu/y928

Replies (5) Good night (5306) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

wtf

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina (1-973): wtf http://tfl.nu/idhw

Replies (18) Good night (1203) Bad night (5194) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(506): View more from New Brunswick

All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(506): All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other http://tfl.nu/mktv

Replies (13) Good night (5160) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius. http://tfl.nu/19nm

Replies (3) Good night (397) Bad night (989) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you http://tfl.nu/bix8

Replies (9) Good night (1146) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu

Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (193) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9

Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: