I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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