I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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