Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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