Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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