Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize