My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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