Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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