Jerry, you need to find god
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
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and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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