every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize