dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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