Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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