i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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