the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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