i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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