She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The ass gains better be worth it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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