You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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