If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize