You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize