It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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