belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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