Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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