when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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