I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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