Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize