So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize