no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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