ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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