Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize