Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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