Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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