i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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