I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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