Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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